A BIG SLICE OF LIFE

Our health is what is important, and sometimes more importantly even, is our mental health, not how much we weigh or how we look. Diet and beauty culture, along with societal expections do not connect mental health with our weight or our looks. But every operation going on in our bodies, is connected and controlled by our brain. If your brain is not healthy, then you are not healthy.

I spent all most all of my life trying to fit into societal expectations. I am ashamed to say there was a time or two in. my life, when I took advantage of people's self-image vulnerabilities. I was well meaning, just like so many people are. In my 40's I joined a couple of MLM companies marketing 'quick and easy" products for weightloss, and thought that I was 'helping' woman lose weight, get healthy and look their best. When these didn't work for those women or me long term, I then found myself buying every "lose weight quick and easy" book that every celebrity was either endorsing or the author of. When these failed to work, I then tried every diet drug that was endorsed by every celebrity, doctor or friend. Some worked sort term, some didn't work at all, but I ALWAYS gained the weight back that I had lost. Over the course of 30 years I have weight 115 lbs to 228 pounds, and have spent thousands of dollars on perscription diet drugs, weightloos books, diet businesses like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers, and Fitness Trainers.

Only when I was diagnosed in 2022, with Inattentive ADHD at the age of 53, did I finally understand, that I wasn't weak, my will power didn't suck, my obessive food cravings were directly linked to my ADHD, my obession with weightloss and not getting fat at any cost to me financially or my health, were all directly linked to my ADHD; as theses things are for so many neurodivergent people. I have a brain disability, and with my diagnosis, came the realization that the shame I carried for years about body, my looks and my lack of 'willpower', was all just in my head....literally.

I am currently on a journey of finding compassion for myself, for the years of harm I did to my body trying so hard to fit into societaly expections of "Thinness", with the understanding that I didn't know what I didn't know. Once I understood how my ADHD brain worked against me all these years, I was able to use my new found super powers to stop the insanity going on in my head about my looks and my body.

Facebook and Instagram ads are my nemesis. It's like I am a Little Red Riding Hood and marketing ads are the Wolf, dressed up to appear like the lovable and kind Grandmother These ads drag me in, and before my brain can catch up, I have purchased shit I don't even want, will never use, and definitely did not need. Damn you Instafreshener and Soview. Ugg, Sorrel, and Michael Koors, you are still my best friends. Does a girl need over 100 pair of shoes?? Yes, yes she does. After all, Cinderella, is proof that a sexy shoe can change your life. It does not matter how many times I tell myself, "I don't need anymore shoes", my brain tells me, "Just one more pair".

When was the last time you saw a trainer, a diet company, a diet coach, a beauty company, or a beauty consultant talk about the mental health changes of the person or persons they are promoting and marketing in before and after photos? I turn 55 this year, and I have never come across one before and after weightloss photo that focused solely on the benefits of a persons mental health, intellegence or the their creativity. My wish would be that women stop allowing societal expectations, and diet and beauty culture define who you have to be. Diet and beauty culture are billion dollar industries, who sole purpose and goal is to take advantage of women, especially vunerable women, and society as a whole, has bought into their marketing - hook, line, and sinker.

It is hard to have body positivity, when we live in societal cultures that prioritizes beauty and thinness over a person's intelligence, creativity, skills, abilities and/or their mental health. I would encourage woman to step out of their societal cultures expectations, that tell us that we need to be ashamed of our fat bodies, our body scars, our less than perfect looks, and that tell us we need to cover up and hide our bodies. Instead, we should strive for body acceptance and body neutrality; and recognize all of our gifts that are not tied to our bodies or our looks, but tied to our creativity, abilities, skills and intelligence.

As we leave those New Years Eve festivites, immediately following there will be an strong emphasis on losing weight and getting in shape for the coming Year.  Women everywhere will be making resolutions to better themselves and reflect on the year that passed them by.  With the impending New Year, there is also a realization that we become a year older, which for me and others, means more grey hair, wrinkles, and additional marks and scars that will appear on my body.  It is safe to say that we live in a world that is obsessed with body image and weight, and the search to find the fountain of youth.

Before the idea of weight acceptance, fat people <usually the female ones> would try to starve themselves thin, giving themselves all kinds of health problems in the process. And if you haven't been privy to the health problems yet......just wait.....they will come. Listen, any movement or person that seeks to divorce a person’s weight from their worthiness as a person, is a good thing! Nobody should have to feel that being fat would erase all the good things about them, or like they’d be better off dead than FAT. People deserve bodily autonomy, and that includes the right to maintain their body at whatever weight best facilitates their happiness and comfort.

All of the scars, marks, and fat that appears on my body, tells the story of my life.  A story that will no doubt be added to as I continue to age, and my body and looks change.  All of these marks, scars, and my weight, make me who I am; so to reject, hide or kill myself trying to 'fix' them, feels like a rejection of who I am. My most recent discovery - as my self-acceptance increases, so does my motivation to take better care of myself. Self-acceptance comes from within, and it's not defined by age, body size or our looks.. The only antidote to self-acceptance……is your attitude – an amazing and life affirming attitude towards yourself.

Our power comes from accepting who we are, and loving ourselves as we deserve to be loved, despite diet culture, despite beauty culture, and despite societal norms and expectations. If nobody has ever told you this, then let me tell you, "You are capable and full of potential now, just as you are. You do not need to change anything....except your attitude towards yourself!"

Acceptance is, and will always be, more powerful than Weight-loss or our Looks. - Michelle Banna